Screw school pamphlets, unhelpful grief groups, and people saying “sorry for your loss.” It’s time to get real about grief. We’re in this together.
Why We’re Lovin’ It: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow is a coming-of-age story that follows the relationship between two friends, Sadie and Sam, who, over the course of 30 years, come together and become successful creative partners in the world of video game design.
As we follow their deeply intertwined stories, we ride the waves of joy, frustration, miscommunications, love, deep sadness, and perhaps one of the most impactful and primary themes in the book - grief.
In Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow both Sam and Sadie grieve. Sam grieves the death of his mother, and both Sam and Sadie grieve their beloved friend and creative partner together.
The beauty of this book is that it perfectly captures the notion that everyone grieves in different ways for both different things and shared tragedies. Except it shows us and doesn’t tell us what grief looks like. It shows Sadie being unable to leave bed. It shows Sam pushing to find normalcy and routine. It shows moments of shared laughter when remembering their person.
Most importantly, it shows us there is not one way to grieve, even if you’re grieving the same person.
Ultimately, this novel is beautifully written, it’ll make you laugh, cry, and walk away with a deep sense of belonging and understanding that we’re all beautifully (and at times, painfully) human, and that’s more than okay.
Why we’re lovin’ it: What we most appreciate about “The Bear” is that everyone in the TV show GETS IT about grief.
If you haven’t seen it yet, this TV series on Hulu is about an award-winning chef who returns to his hometown of Chicago to manage the kitchen of his dead brother's restaurant. (And sometimes it's about a bear if the bear in question is grief.)
Every character has experienced the death of someone, and the characters understand that grief isn't linear, and it isn't pretty. It often feels like grief is actually its own character in the show–sometimes a supporting role, and sometimes a co-star, just like in our own lives.
The show also gets that grief is something we avoid sometimes, and other times it hits us upside the head. It can look like being really mad at your person or crying while looking at a photo of your person or even smiling when we feel connected.
If you feel like your complicated, messy waves of grief aren't truly represented on TV, it might be worth watching “The Bear.” Although we'll warn you, you may walk away from the series calling everyone "Cousin” (you’ll see soon enough).
by Sarafina, age 15
I think one of the most beautiful songs ever written by Taylor Swift was her song “Marjorie” about Taylor's grandmother who died in 2003. From this song, you can tell that Marjorie inspired Taylor to pursue a music career.
I feel that anyone could relate to this quote, but especially grievers whose loved one(s) died at a young age:
“I should've asked you questions
I should've asked you how to be
Asked you to write it down for me
Should've kept every grocery store receipt
'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me”
This quote expounds on two of the grieving emotions: regret and remorse. There's the belief that you should have asked your loved ones more questions and/or gotten to know them better. There are so many things to learn, not only about a person but from a person too and you never know or realize how much time you get with them.
Yet, even though everybody regrets either something they should have said or an action they should have taken, it is in the past. That is the hard truth but I learned that getting past remorse and into memories can help you feel more content with your situation. Just as Taylor said:
“What died didn't stay dead
You're alive, you're alive in my head.”
Why we're lovin' it: Okay, we just had to share this new video from @ExperienceCamps for grieving children from last summer. A solid laugh (anyone in the grief club will get it, for sure!) about how so many of us see cardinals as a sign of our person who died--and simply must chase after it!
Prince Harry speaking about continuting to grieve his mother, Princess Diana: "It was 20 years of not thinking about it and then two years of total chaos. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me."