Screw school pamphlets, unhelpful grief groups, and people saying “sorry for your loss.” It’s time to get real about grief. We’re in this together.
Why we're lovin' it: This fictional story, a graphic novel, is based an a true story. It follows high school senior, Sam, who is grieving the unexpected death of their best friend and is trying to find a way through the heartbreak and a new reality.
Here's why the author Chris Buchanan wrote it:
"When my friend's son, Corey, died at age 23, after a month in the hospital, I was so upset, and I could see his friends were too. We all expected him to come home from the hospital. I searched for a book to give to his friends who were teenagers and young adults, but all I could find were children's picture books or books with over 100 pages of text.
I knew his friends, some of whom couldn't read above a 1st grade level, wouldn't touch a book full of words on their best days, never mind when they're so upset. Likewise, they wouldn't want to pick up a book that's babyish. That's why I wrote this graphic novel with as few words as possible and with pictures to help them understand, because WE ALL GRIEVE and WE ALL DESERVE SUPPORT!"
While the book intentionally has very few words, many teen readers will connect with the spot-on sentiments and how the author just "gets it."
Why we love it: When we think about feelings that surround the grief journey, many of us think “sad” first, and also possibly “anger,” “regret,” “frustration,” etc. We tend to forget about “joy” and “nostalgia” and “love” and the other positive feels, which can show up too when we least expect it. Shout-out to Pixar’s “Inside Out” movies for reminding us about all the emotions that come and go, sometimes overlapping.
A few of our favorite quotes from Inside Out 2:
“Where can I put my stuff?” — Anxiety (settling in, carrying six full suitcases)
“I’ll just tell Anxiety not to worry so much anymore. And then she’ll say ‘Wow, Joy! I didn’t think of that, thank you!!'” —Joy
And our favorite new exclamation that can be used when someone says something awful to us while we’re grieving: “Jimminy mother lung toaster strudel!”—Joy
And a few grief-y quotes we loved from the original “Inside Out”:
“Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems.” —Sadness
“We’re taking the Train of Thought.” — Bing Bong. Adds Joy: “The train! Of course. That is so much faster — but how do we catch it?” Bing Bong: “Well, it kind of goes all over the place.”
Here’s to all the feelings—even those we’d prefer not to have (ummm, we’re looking at you, fear, anxiety, sadness, disgust, boredom, envy). We obviously prefer hanging out with joy whenever possible but thanks, Pixar, for reminding us that all the feels belong and that our train of thoughts go all over the place. It's quite a ride.
by Sarafina, age 15
I think one of the most beautiful songs ever written by Taylor Swift was her song “Marjorie” about Taylor's grandmother who died in 2003. From this song, you can tell that Marjorie inspired Taylor to pursue a music career.
I feel that anyone could relate to this quote, but especially grievers whose loved one(s) died at a young age:
“I should've asked you questions
I should've asked you how to be
Asked you to write it down for me
Should've kept every grocery store receipt
'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me”
This quote expounds on two of the grieving emotions: regret and remorse. There's the belief that you should have asked your loved ones more questions and/or gotten to know them better. There are so many things to learn, not only about a person but from a person too and you never know or realize how much time you get with them.
Yet, even though everybody regrets either something they should have said or an action they should have taken, it is in the past. That is the hard truth but I learned that getting past remorse and into memories can help you feel more content with your situation. Just as Taylor said:
“What died didn't stay dead
You're alive, you're alive in my head.”
Why we're lovin' it: Okay, we just had to share this new video from @ExperienceCamps for grieving children from last summer. A solid laugh (anyone in the grief club will get it, for sure!) about how so many of us see cardinals as a sign of our person who died--and simply must chase after it!
"Grief is a journey. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."